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A Beginner's Guide
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What is a Swingers Club A Beginner's Guide Etiquette & Rules

One of the biggest misconceptions people may have about a swingers club is that there will be a mass orgy going on, or that by entering the club you are going to be pounced on and expected to have sex with anyone and everyone! This couldn't be any further from the truth.

This step-by-step beginner's guide will help you navigate your first visit to a swingers club with confidence, ease, and respect. Covering everything from preparation to post-visit reflection, this will help ensure you feel comfortable, confident, and have an enjoyable experience.

Research & Choosing the Right Club
  • Membership - Many clubs require membership, screening or pre-registration for first-timers, so check if you need to sign up in advance.
  • Atmosphere & play - Some clubs are more social, sensual and relaxed, while others are heavily focused on full play. Read reviews or visit the clubs website to see what kind of crowd they attract.
  • Entry fees & drinks - Prices vary from club to club with couples often paying less than single men. Some clubs are licensed and sell drinks at the bar, while others are bring you own.
  • Dress code - Most clubs stick to a "Sexy Classy" dress code with the women wearing an elegant dress, lingerie, or something revealing but stylish, and the men in a nice button-up shirt and slacks (smart casual). Some clubs have 'Theme Nights' (eg. lingerie parties, masquerade nights, etc.) so check in advance.
  • Check online/call - Research the club online, read reviews, and check their website. Call or email them if you have any unanswered questions.
Before you go: Planning & Preparation
  • Set clear boundaries (if going with a partner)
    • Discuss why you're going, what is okay, and what is off-limits.
    • Are you just there to observe out of curiosity?
    • Are you open to flirting?
    • Are you only playing together, or open to separate experiences?
    • Do you prefer soft play (kissing, touching) or full swap?
    • Agree on a signal as a subtle cue to check in with each other discreetly.
  • Club rules - Familiarize yourself with the club's rules before going. Most clubs will have rules about consent, phone use, safe sex, and privacy, and it's important to follow them. Many clubs will have staff to help with any issues that arise.
  • Personal hygiene - Cleanliness is a top priority so take extra care with your personal hygiene ritual. Make sure you are freshly showered, well-groomed and have brushed your teeth before departing for the club.
  • Dress the part
    • Women - Think lingerie, sexy dresses, sexy tops, or club wear.
    • Men - Stylish and upscale casual. Some clubs also allow more sexy or club style attire (e.g., fitted shirts, stylish trousers).
    • Footwear - Some clubs have restrictions on footwear for hygiene reasons, so check ahead to see what's acceptable.
    • Comfort is key - While it's great to dress up, make sure you're comfortable. You'll want to be able to relax and have fun, so don't overdo it on the attire if it doesn't feel right for you.
  • Pack the essentials
    • ID - Most clubs require age verification.
    • Cash/card - For entry fees, drinks and lockers.
    • Condoms & lube - Many clubs provide these, but it's good to bring your own.
    • Toiletries - Deodorant, wet wipes and perfume/cologne for freshening up. Mints (fresh breath is always a plus).
    • Toys - Feel free to take your toys, vibes and dildos.
    • A small bag - A lot of clubs have lockers, but taking a discreet bag for essentials is handy.
Before you go: Mental Preparation
  • Open your mind - Whether you're exploring the social aspect or the intimate side, remain open to new experiences and different people. Be prepared for a variety of behaviours or interactions, you may see or experience things that are outside of your normal expectations. Keep an open mind and focus on enjoying yourself.
  • Fitting in - Don't expect to 'fit in' immediately. Your first experience might be overwhelming, and that's okay. You may want to just observe, chat, and get a feel for the environment before diving in.
  • Socialise - Many people at swingers clubs are open to chatting and meeting new people. Be ready to engage in light conversation, and don't hesitate to ask questions about the atmosphere or rules if you're unsure of anything.
  • Communicate - Many interactions at swingers clubs require clear communication, especially when it comes to boundaries and consent. You and your partner should be ready to talk openly with each other and anyone you meet.
  • Respect - Remember, everyone is there to have fun in their own way. Be respectful of others' boundaries, and if someone isn't interested in interacting with you, don't take it personally.
  • Jealousy - If you're in a couple, it's possible that feelings of jealousy may arise. Be honest with your partner about how you feel and communicate openly if something makes you uncomfortable.
Arrival & Getting Comfortable
  • Check-in process - Upon arrival expect an ID check, you may also need to sign a waiver agreeing to club rules (confidentiality, consent, no photography). Some clubs give a tour for first-timers, so don't hesitate to ask as It'll help you feel more at ease.
  • Start in the social area - Most people don't jump into play immediately. Take time to have a drink, chat with others, and get a feel for the crowd and general vibe. If a conversation feels natural, introduce yourself and be friendly but not pushy, compliments and friendly chats go a long way!
  • Observe & respect the atmosphere - Some clubs are more social (like a sexy lounge or dance club), while others have play areas. If you're unsure about etiquette in a certain area, watch and learn first before engaging. No pressure, it's okay to just observe.
  • Watch for non-verbal cues - Flirting, eye contact, and open body language = they might be interested. Closed-off body language, avoiding eye contact = they're not interested (and that's okay!).
  • Dancing & flirting - Many clubs have a dance floor, which can be a great way to loosen up. Body language matters, make eye contact, smile, and read other's signals.
Navigating the Whole Experience
  • Different spaces in a typical club
    • Social areas - The Lounge, bar, and dance floor for conversation and flirting.
    • Bathrooms & hygiene stations - Where showers, fresh towels, condoms, and lube are available.
    • Private rooms - Separate areas for couples or small groups who want more discreet encounters.
    • Open play rooms - Open spaces where people can be intimate while others watch or join in (with consent).
    • Voyeur rooms - Special rooms for watching others without participating.
    • Theme rooms - Some clubs have BDSM spaces and fantasy-themed environments.
  • Observing or participating - If watching, stay respectful (no staring too aggressively). If you are interested in joining someone, flirt, chat, and feel out the energy before asking politely. Always accept their answer. If you feel ready to play, communicate clearly with anyone involved. If you're with a partner check in with each other often.
  • Consent is king - Never touch, join, or assume participation without clear verbal consent. If you're unsure, ask first, and remember that No always means No.
  • How to decline politely - You are never obligated to engage with anyone and It's okay to say no. "Thanks for the offer, but we're just here to observe tonight.", "We appreciate the invite, but we're not interested."
Wrapping up the Night & Aftercare
  • Freshen up before you leave - Most clubs have showers and hygiene stations, use them!
  • Leaving the club on a high - Know when to call it a night, there's no pressure to stay until closing. When you're ready remember to say goodbye to any new friends you've made and maybe swap contact details for a future meeting.
  • Debrief with your partner (if applicable)
    • No judgment - First experiences can be exciting, overwhelming, or just really good fun.
    • Your experiences - What did you enjoy and what, if anything, felt uncomfortable.
    • What were your boundaries - Did they evolve through the evening? It's okay to set new limits.
    • Celebrate positive moments - If you had a good time, acknowledge that!
    • Address concerns - If something didn't feel quite right, communicate it openly.
  • Decide on future visits - Would you go again and, if so, what would you do differently? Maybe you just enjoyed the atmosphere and are ready to explore more, maybe you're curious about a different kind of club, or maybe you realize clubbing isn't for you, and that's totally okay.
Key Takeaways for a Great First Experience
  • Take your time - Swinging is about mutual enjoyment and everyone moves at their own pace, so it's key to take things slow and communicate openly. There is no rush, it's okay to take things slow.
  • You don't have to participate - If you're new or just exploring, there's absolutely no pressure to engage in anything physical, you are always in control. Many people visit just to socialise, watch, or learn more about the lifestyle.
  • Communication is key - Talk with your partner about your boundaries and expectations. If you're visiting solo, communicate your boundaries with others clearly. If you're not comfortable with something, it's okay to say so.
  • Respect others - Respect boundaries and expect yours to be respected, this ensures a positive experience for all.
  • Most of all, have fun! - It's an exciting experience, be confident but not pushy, flirt, mingle, and enjoy the adventure.